Everybody deserves a chance, right? The nerd side of Katherine at least believes so. The little black girl that would watch Dragonball Z for hours with cousins while eating Ramen drowned in Louisiana hot sauce, she believes everybody deserves love and if they are attractive, hell yeah why not? Well, sometimes that loving heart and forgiving spirit gets the best of her adult better judgment.

Tinder… Is it just the fuck buddy version of Linkedin? Well being open to possibilities, Katherine was willing to jump back into the sea with the other fish. She’ll find, to be a fish you must be one thirsty Bi… There were plenty of… options presented to Katherine and suddenly. Though in the back of her mind there was a feeling that Tinder faked your amount of likes to boost your confidence, increasing your serotonin levels and encouraging you to return like a hopeless drug addict. And then…At some point, she felt that Tinder should probably pay her for just existing on the site.

And then she met, at the time, what felt like the perfect match. Attractive, body built by the gods themselves, skin perfect and glowing. He rocked a beard with a perfect fade and at the perfect height. The first conversation never included sex just Dragon Ball Z and laughter. It was cute as shit. He was kind and willing to make plans. So that’s what he did, made plans for their first meet-up nearly immediately. A simple walk along Lake Shore drive. The weather was Summer-Time Chi showing out. It was one of those days you reconsidered moving to California or Dallas because all you needed was clearly at home.

The First Date…

It was beautiful. They talked about life as black nerds in their fields of work. She explained how she was forced into masculinity most time and he discussed his conflict role in mundane and mindless activities. As he explained it, he washed and parked cars during the day and he has to plead for PTO in most cases. A Leo man, what a misfortune to society. They kissed and flirted heavy. It came to the end of the night. It was time for Katherine to take the backseat or drive the damn car. She decided to take the backseat because of the slight dominating energy she felt exuding from him. Unfortunately, he chose the backseat as well (Red flag 1). So it was decided that their dirty asses would part ways, shower and let the anticipation build until Saturday.

Saturday came…

Katherine could feel his energy before even speaking to him. She knew the fire wouldn’t be there. And being honest, she didn’t really feel like being bothered. He called. She asked for him to come get her and he agreed. Before he came, she felt the need to ask if she should bring Jenga to play some games first. He never answered her question but asked for the address (Red Flag 2). When he arrived, the perfectly blue mustang was humming when she walked out. Though she drove her own nice ass car, to be picked up in someone else’s nice ass car felt good.

So they got dinner…

It was astonishing that this Chicago native did not know how to get from one South Side location to another. Watching him use GPS was like watching an infant not know what shapes to put where in the puzzle. He was also a submissive driver. We looked for parking near the restaurant and Katherine is of course leading him at this point. (Mind you, he lives in this neighborhood) They find parking thanks to Katherine’s true Chicagoan nature. And as he pays for parking he stops to, what seemed like fix his shoes (which were beige Nike boots, but whatever). Does he in fact stop to fix his shoe? No, he purposely tucks his pants behind the tongue of his NIKE BOOTS. Katherine could feel the disdain, disappointment and disapproval arise in her body as the attraction for this 33 year-old man disappears by at least 15-20%. She ignores red flags 3-9 and they walk to the restaurant. The conversation is bleak. He is bleak and Katherine is irritated, but still wants sex so she plays nice. Plays nice by not telling him he’s kind of an asshole; hiding behind the good guy persona, who is hiding behind a boy who loves DragonBall Z more than his current reality.

They go to his place. Play games and she wins and then quits. They have sex, she doesn’t win and guess what? He blames her for her inability to have an orgasm with him. Well… Sashay says he’s right. It is Katherine’s fault. She should not have laid down with his goofy ass in the first place. Like who the fuck still tucks their pant leg behind the tongue of some big ass Nike boots? A goofy.

If you have an argument to make… I dare you in the comments. Katherine was wrong for bypassing those red flags. That’s what her ass get.